Ending of Crymunication

There is many more example of Crymunication but I’ve spoken enough on this topic. These will be posted in their order and hopefully I will put a links of each on the top of each entry. If you are reading this blog and are completely confused go back about four blogs entitled “Crymunication.” It will all be made clear.

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload


Thanks for your time. And remember that the thoughts and opinions expressed here are not necessarily the thoughts and opinions of Woad Warrior. This however is a message to cover himself in case of law suits. Woad Warrior does not necessarily agree to the thoughts he wrote about but expresses them for entertainment purposes only. Remember that Woad Warrior Loves women and has the highest respect for them. Thank you.

Example 3) of Crymunication – Process Overload

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

In my opinion this is the most important Crymunication technique that guys need to understand. So listen really closely my brothers. You need to understand this one because this is when you are needed to be a man the most. So let me explain Crymunication – Process Overload.

So let’s say you’re having a conversation with a girl and all of a sudden she breaks down in tears. You can’t quite figure out why she is crying because you were talking about your favorite ice cream flavors. Your conversation wasn’t that bad, you thought. You’re trying to figure out why she is crying but she isn’t saying anything that makes sense. You hear something like this

“*sob*…*sob*…*sniff*….paper…*sniff*…*sob*…*sob*Ashlee...*sob*…time card*sob* *sob* *sniff*”

So let me translate what happened then I’ll translate the secrete message then I’ll help you understand what to do. First what happened. What happened here is that the girl you are currently speaking with is processing too much information at once about many topics. You’ve reached her breaking point, as defined in an earlier example of Crymunication, and now you are at the aftermath. This is why it doesn’t seem to make sense.

Secondly let me translate the message. Each barely understandable word is the topic point of one thing on her mind. So take out all the words you can understand. Paper, Ashlee, Time card. What you need to do now is to think of every possible meaning for each one and why she would cry about it. “Paper” could be many things. So what paper would make her cry? This could mean she is writing a paper and is having trouble, there could be a paper that is due (perhaps a bill or homework), or maybe even she needed a specific piece of a paper for something special she wanted to do. Ok so we have that word, we don’t understand it yet so we’ll move on. You know who Ashlee is in this scenario. (Let’s say she’s a friend at work). So either something happened to Ashlee, Ashlee did something mean, or some event occurred with Ashlee that is causing stress. “Time card”… this one is pretty straight forward… it’s her time card at work (mind you sometimes you can be wrong about the straight forward ones). *WARNING* DO NOT TRY TO COMBINE THE WORDS INTO ONE THOUGHT. Remember she is overloading so these are not one thought. So don’t say Ashlee lost the time card paper at work… you will be wrong and she will eat you alive. All you know is that there is a problem with some piece of paper, Ashlee, and a time card. You only have an idea. In some scenarios you will actually already know from prior conversations but all the same you only have an idea. Ok so now you have an idea of why she is crying now we have to figure out what to do.

Finally what to do. This is the most tricky and important part. In some scenarios you have to say nothing and other scenarios you have to say the right things. So how do you know when to do what? It’s a little more simple than you think. Let’s take it slow.

Step 1) Prod her
You need to figure out what to do, real quick. So start by gently, as gently as can be, asking her ‘what’s wrong.’ Now she’ll get mad, say ‘nothing,’ or cry more.

Step 2) Translations
Based on each of her responses there will be a different translation of the event. If she gets mad at you immediately she is angry and wants somebody to listen. If she says ‘nothing’ she IS mad at your or she thinks you are upset with her. If she cries more she wants to talk about it.

Step 3) Resolution.
If she gets mad you need to stop talking from that point on. Just listen and sympathize and remember she probably isn’t mad at you. The ending can go very well or very horrible for you. If you speak the anger will be directed at you for not understanding. If you say nothing you’ll be a great listener and sometimes rewarded and then you’ll thank God.

If she says “nothing” be afraid because she is upset with you or nervous that she has upset you. If it’s the latter just be really loving and let her know you love her, if she is mad at you just apologize because let’s face it… it is probably your fault.

If she starts crying worse and you get another coded message it means she wants to talk, so talk and take it slow. Once you finish talking it out she’ll be very happy and feel very loved, which should be your goal. It may take time but it is completely worth it. And you may be rewarded. You’ll thank God.

Example 2) of Crymunication –Cyclic Confirmation

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

This is the most unique Crymunication technique of girls, which men will almost never ever understand. In this scenario a girl hasn’t cried in a long time, for whatever reason, and now she is going to cry. To guys this seems the most purposeless crying in the world. But there is a reason behind it. Now I classify it as the Cyclic Confirmation Crymunication Technique because this IS based on cycles. She felt she hasn’t cried in awhile and now she wants to cry. What will happen is that she will either become extremely sensitive until she finds something to cry about or someone to cry with or she will watch a chick flick and make herself cry, which truly is the importance of chick flicks.

I need to add a side note in here. Fellas, watch chick flicks with the girls in your life. It is important. It lets them get out a lot of emotional stress with you but not at you. Do yourself a favor and watch a few chick flicks and find out which plot you like best (because there is like 5) and rent, buy, and or watch those with the girls in your life.

Now many guys are probably thinking “why would they WANT to cry?!? That’s crazy!” and you’re probably saying “Woad Warrior please help me understand why they would WANT to cry.” Well since you’ve asked I will try to explain.

The reason girls WANT to cry is so that they can push back their breaking point. What does that mean you ponder? I’ll explain. As girls will say guys don’t multitask well, guys can say girls don’t let things go. What happens is that all this pressure, of not letting things go, builds up into a “Crymunication – Process Overload” (see next post). It builds up until they’ve reach their breaking point and they explode with tears and noise and oi vay. However the breaking point of a woman is an entirely flexible thing. It depends how much stress is going on in their life and what type of stress is going on in their life. At times girls will be the most frail and delicate of creatures and in the next moment they are tougher than an iron mace. Their Cyclic Confirmation Crymunication Technique allows them to dump some of the minor stress in their life which is not important enough to cry about or talk about in and of itself. If they dump this stress out they will have pushed back their breaking point.

So what do you do as a guy? Help them cry. Don’t be a jerk and make them cry! Making them cry and helping them cry is NOT the same thing. Help them cry by allowing them to feel comfortable crying in front of you. If need be rent that chick flick or just hold them and don’t speak or whatever the girl in your life needs of you. You are man; you are here to serve them. Do it.

Now again you might be asking yourself how is this truth. As I said earlier Crymunication is where women communicate the most truth. They are expressing, if only subconsciously, that they need to let things go so they can be stronger. It’s a very honest appraisal that which has no equal, as far as I can think of now, in the male realm.

Example 1 of Crymunication – Environmental Awareness

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

This example is how women try to communicate that they are feeling sad in the environment they are in. So let’s say it’s the end of a school year or some sort of passing of time where these girls, or at least some, are going to part ways. Now they are feeling sad about this and perhaps nervous about the changes. Then it goes down like so… one girl will be saying goodbye to one of her closer friends and she’ll start crying, which of course will get that close friend to also start crying. Then girls around them will start crying because they feel it’s so sad/beautiful. Then girls who don’t really care will start crying because they kind of feel bad that they don’t care. Then girls who are feeling alone because they have no one to cry with will start crying. And finally girls with no clue what is going on will cry because everyone else is crying. All of this is to say that in their current area there is a lot of sadness; even if the sadness is almost irrelevant to them.

A great example of this is in the movies. I’m not saying guys don’t cry at the movies, they don’t cry at the movies though they just get allergies (j/k), what I am trying to say is that it’s more common for girls to cry the movies because of their ability to Crymunicate the sadness of their environment. Think of it like a lighthouse signaling you that you are near the shore. Their crying is trying to signal you that you are near sadness. This is the opposite with guys, who try, with all their might, not to cry in front of any other guy… ever. And if a guy does end up crying in front of another as long as there is a good reason neither will talk about it. However if there is a stupid reason, mockery might follow.

So what are guys suppose to do in this situation. Nothing. Don’t say a word. Be careful where you look but be double careful not to appear to be unaware of the situation. This is dangerous. Avoid this one. Sometimes it’s sweet and you just have to be there and say nothing while other times this might turn into anger and you’ll want to flee. Be careful, use judgment.

Now earlier I said girls Crymunicate to express truth. In this scenario they are expressing a true emotion of sadness. It’s not a secrete or factual sort of truth but they are compelled to express it. They are compelled to express this true. This is why Crymunication is a very beautiful thing.

Crymunication

Crymunication
Crymunication – Environmental Awareness
Crymunication – Cyclic Confirmation
Crymunication – Process Overload

I love my fiancée so much. I am learning ssssoooo much about the female species and at the same time I am also learning so much about my own kind, the males. Our differences are so amazing, funny, truly gives us insight to each other. These differences aren’t bad either, they’re just different. For example as many of you know, and the few of you I want to hide it from can figure it out anyway so I’m not going to bother, I am getting married in a few days. One thing that cracks me up during this process is what people are concerned with. For example every time I tell one of my guy friends that I’m getting married on such and such day in December they all basically say something along the lines of “awesome” or “badass” (excuse my French please). Other guy friends might make whipping noises or do hand gestures describing a dog collar around the neck, but this is out of jealousy and is still their way to say congrats. However when I inform girls about the date, mind you they already did the screaming and the ‘awwww” when I told them about the wedding, but when I tell them about the date one of the first things that come out of their mouth is “it’s going to be cold.” It cracks me up every time. Even one of the first things my Grandmother said, who is a fascinating woman, was “I’m going to dress nice but I am bringing a jacket because it’s cold.” I have not once had a single guy tell me “it’s going to be cold” but I think I’m honestly at like 20 with women telling me it’s going to be cold. And I know I’ve had at least 3-4 full conversations about it, with women, being cold.

Now I know a lot of that is girls are trying to be mindful of how everybody is feeling, so please don’t take it as me ragging on them. I think it’s amazing. And at some point I’m sure I should have considered that it might be cold in December (even though this is So Cal). But I didn’t and neither did any of my guy friends. We were just collectively happy that one our kind (in this case me) was able to find a girl whose craziness was at a tolerable level… and to be quite honest her craziness is sometimes appealing.

And as the old male proverb goes ….. “The question is not IF she is crazy but HOW crazy is she!”

All of this is to get to my true point for writing this blog. I want to talk about another ability of women and pass this information on to my brothers, whom I want to call “the Remnant,” to show them what I’ve learned. I classified this ability as “Crymunication.” This is a very confusing yet truly important ability for guys to know. So I am going to break it down into a couple entries so you can understand this one step at a time. The basic concept behind Crymunication is how women express their true thoughts and feelings through different levels of crying. They communicate with us through crying; hence the classification of Crymunication. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to read more than you can understand at once. Process this one section at a time. Don’t be afraid either because this is a uniquely beautiful ability women have to cry out truth. Honestly guys if a girl is crying you can almost guaranty (minus few rare horrible exceptions, which I’ve experienced) that she is being completely honest.

Now before you continue reading know that a girl is not more or less girly/amazing/wonderful/beautiful by how much she does or does not Crymunicate. Some girls don’t do these often because they deal with things in different ways and some girls are going to get mad because I’ve pegged them completely. Either way they are uniquely beautiful and you’ll have to learn them and their personalities yourself.

It's not easy

Ok so I have to tell a funny story. Sometimes in life things just crack me up. I find it so mind blowing how some people seem to get away with everything while other people can’t seem to get away with doing normal things without trouble.

For example an acquaintance of mine (to save their identity) got into her second car accident. Now unknowingly you might assume that this is the person who gets in trouble… but you would be wrong. Ok this is the second car accident my acquaintance has gotten into and has completely gotten away with. So here is the quick story. She was driving out to get some bread (seriously, I know) and while driving around the parking lot she ended up behind a motorcycle cop who had pulled someone over in front of her. So she waits a second and then decides to pass them. However she did not look and another car was coming out of one of the isle. So being quick in reflexes she tries to slam on the breaks………. however not being quick in accuracy (to say the least) she slammed on the gas instead. So she gases it into the truck’s passenger door. So both cars pull over and this acquaintance of mine comes out saying “I am so sorry I hit you.” The other driver’s vehicle was fine so they didn’t care too much but the driver wanted to switch information. Of course this acquaintance of mine doesn’t have their car insurance information or a pen or a pencil. Well eventually the cop comes over. Now this is the part of the story most people dread. HOWEVER for this acquaintance of mine the cop just kind pops his head in and says ‘ya’ll alright?’ and the OTHER DRIVER says that they are fine. And nobody is bothered that the acquaintance of mine is driving without proof of insurance or ownership. This acquaintance then goes home and tells her mother (who gave her the car) what had happen. . . . and nothing happens…. This is the second car accident this acquaintance of mine has gotten into and has a completely clean driving record… the series of sighs and comments I have exploding inside me I keep inside me incase this acquaintance reads this blog and takes it as me insulting them. I’m not… but if this person dies on the road I will feel bad for allowing them to drive.


Now let’s move on to the other person. This guy I know (me) decides he wants to take his friend to dinner because his friend has been helping him out. So this guy (me) finds about $15 in Subway Gift Cards. We go to Subway and before we even ordered I asked the employees if we could use the gift cards. After investigating my Gift Cards they inform me that they are totally valid and we can use them. We started ordering these 5 Dollar Sandwiches (which is a story in itself) and mine gets done first. As I am standing there at the end of the line getting ready to pay they decide that they are confused about my gift cards again. So I am standing their waiting and the cashier, who has completely read every word including the fine print, decides she wants to talk to the manager again. Once the cashier comes back she tells me that the sandwiches are going to be regular price. I inquire what exactly that meant since the price of the sandwich was five dollars. This cashier informs me that she is going to charge me like 6.11 for my sandwich even though it is clearly a $5 sandwich. I was already freaking out because if I was gonna pay that much for a sandwich I would have order a better sandwich. Astonished and starting to get shaken up that somebody is planning to stop my sandwich eating I ask her how much are our meals going to cost because we were making them combos. During this elongated pause of the cashier trying to calculate the incredible mathematical quandary of the price of two sandwiches and two drinks and chips, panic struck me and I said “well as long as it’s under $15 I guess it doesn’t really matter.” And I kid you not the cashier turns to me and says “it’s going to be 16.20.” Again my mind is completely blown wondering how two 5 dollar sandwiches, two drinks, and chips turned into 16 bucks! Now my buddy offered to pay and I’m like screw that I’ll walk away from these sandwiches before I pay for them. Eventually to make this long story slightly shorter the manager comes over and both the cashier and the manager gets into an all out brawl with the cash register only to be on par with two great Aikido Masters. Somehow by the direct hand of God they figure it out and I actually get some change back. I think I ended up getting like twenty-two cents but that’s twenty-two cents I didn’t have! It was a long story and I did end up coming out on top… but of course I can’t just got to a store with gift cards without making an issue.

This was all summed up when my buddy looks over to me as we walk out and says “I can’t take you anywhere.”